the pain of crying

Dear blog,

A lot of people claim that after u cry, u feel better cos u will have released all ur anger and sadness. However I dont think it is true, I cried like a baby last night and yet I did not feel better after which. Why? I did not cried out very loudly but I cried out very painfully. I cried like a baby who drops his fav toy onto the floor and don’t know when his mother will pick it up for him. He cried and cried and yet there was still no one responding to him. How long can this baby cry until he begin to get over the lost of his fav toy. How long?

I did not know this little happy moment for someone will become one of the saddest moment for me. I was controlling my tears when it just started then suddenly every details of that moment last year started to flash back in my mind. From the moment I took over the mic and the moment I sang the first word to the moment I pass her the flowers and kissed her. Suddenly it keeping flashing over and over again in my mind, the tune, the atmosphere and the look of her eyes. I was singing and looking straight into her eyes. Telling her I made every single line of that song and remembering her shed first drop of tears rowing down her cheeks. It was all this details that burst me into tears. I cried and cried ask myself why this and why that.. It was the first time I cried over a girl and people said that “ big man don’t cry one”. Ya right if u are in my shoes I bet u will cry too.

To add more sorrow I should post the song too…..

I want to make you smile
whenever you're sad,
carry you around when your arthritis is bad.
All I want to do,
is grow old with you.

I’ll get you medicine when your tummy aches,
build you a fire when the furnace breaks.
Oh it could be so nice,
growin’ old with you.

I’ll miss you, kiss you,
give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you,
even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink,
put you to bed when you’ve had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man,
that grows old with you,
I wanna grow old with you.


do u still treasure this moment.........