finally....

Dear blog,

My weekend cant get any better. It started off with an over night fishing trip off southern island. It started off badly as we were late due to some last min cock up and miscommunication but it was back on track the moment we landed our first fish. That night was interesting as most of our fish we caught were using kelong sotong instead of the always reliable live sotong. Anyway my good buddy was in top form as he landed the most fish and also the biggest too, 13kg leopard ray. I will try to post some pic after I get my digital camera fixed.

The next highlight was on sat evening when my team finally won our first game after losing 2 games in a row. However what made my day was that I finally got my confident back. I was scoring and getting the rebound that I used to be and playing with more composure now. Finally after screwing up some games, I found some confident back. Just hope I keep up my play style and continue to win the remaining 11 games in division B basketball league.

She msg me again. She said that she don’t bear to let me go but she is still confused about what she wants. Haiz. I told myself so many time that I have to move on and forget abt the past. But every time she msg me I will suddenly feel that there is some hope. Some hope that ‘the day’ will come, ‘the day’ that I waited for so long. But she always never concluded after msging me and left me hanging there. So many times she did it to me, and yet why am I still waiting for her. Why why why……..

Every time she msg me, I will be so happy as I know she still thinks of me. But every time she does that, I will keep telling myself that ‘the day’ may happen. How can I ever move on? I need to be decisive and make up my mind fast. But my heart is so weak and soft. How can I get over so one I once love so much?

I did ask her abt what she really wants. A guy will love you always and will be willing to give up and leave everything behind just for her or a guys who she thinks will last and give her what she think she really wants. But what do she really want? Big house or fast car or loving family and husband or what?

I told myself so many times that life goes and I should not get some affected by this matter. But the last 3 months was the most miserable time of my life. This is the song of the moment.

How do I
Get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be?
Oh I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
Your my world my heart my soul
If you ever leave
Baby you'd take away everything good in my Life.

~~~~~~~~

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live?.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Without you
There'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There would be no world left for me
And I
Baby I don't know what I would do
I would be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in My life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And tell me now
How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever ever survive?
How do I
How do I
O how do I live?...

~~~~~~~~~

Please tell me baby..

How do I go on?